My job is all about sharing content on the Internet. Today, Facebook put a stop to that (for about an hour).

Yes, that's right -- Facebook put me in timeout for almost an hour because according to them I was using their sharing feature "too fast". Which to me is the equivalent of "holy crap look at all the stuff you shared today, you idiot!"

I've never had this happen before and I'm sure Facebook does this for a good reason -- like when an older relative goes on a sharing spree about how much they hate [enter political figure here] or that one friend who will not stop sharing memes that inform me I'm destined for eternal damnation if I don't give it a like. Likes aren't cheap you know!

Facebook's answer to not having a hotline is a tiny feedback box that allows a user to share their experience and explain why they're in timeout.

Here's my conversation with Facebook Blocks:

I was shocked at first. I figured if I could just have a moment of Mr. Zuckerberg's time I could explain this is all just a little misunderstanding.

Facebook Blocked Me From Sharing on Facebook (for about an hour)
Facebook
loading...

Then Facebook had the nerve to thank me for the feedback about my 'experience'. If I hear one more nerd with a MacBook say it's all about the 'experience' I'm gonna flip.

Facebook Blocked Me From Sharing on Facebook (for about an hour)
Facebook
loading...

Why the heck wouldn't Facebook tell me how long I'm blocked for?! I thought I was blocked for good. I had no clue what to do or how long it would take for Facebook to get back to me. I started to pace and chew my fingernails.  

Facebook Blocked Me From Sharing on Facebook (for about an hour)
Facebook
loading...

I was so frustrated I forgot how to spell 'off'...

Facebook Blocked Me From Sharing on Facebook (for about an hour)
Facebook
loading...

That hour cost me one Happy Meal for my daughter. You sick bastards. 

Facebook Blocked Me From Sharing on Facebook (for about an hour)
Facebook
loading...

 Then I started tossing around the furniture...

Facebook Blocked Me From Sharing on Facebook (for about an hour)
Facebook
loading...

Facebook didn't like their stuff being touched and blocked me from talking about being blocked.

Facebook Blocked Me From Sharing on Facebook (for about an hour)
Facebook
loading...

After a timeout within a timeout I apologized for getting upset.

Facebook Blocked Me From Sharing on Facebook (for about an hour)
Facebook
loading...

It would have made me feel better if they could have just smacked me around a bit.

Facebook Blocked Me From Sharing on Facebook (for about an hour)
Facebook
loading...

So much crying...

Facebook Blocked Me From Sharing on Facebook (for about an hour)
Facebook
loading...

I made an appointment...

Facebook Blocked Me From Sharing on Facebook (for about an hour)
Facebook
loading...

I didn't want Facebook to think I was mad at them. I only wanted them to know they had the wrong guy.

Facebook Blocked Me From Sharing on Facebook (for about an hour)
Facebook
loading...

And I did.

Facebook Blocked Me From Sharing on Facebook (for about an hour)
Facebook
loading...

After almost an hour of worrying that my sharing privileges on Facebook had been completely revoked I managed to get a post through.

Facebook Blocked Me From Sharing on Facebook (for about an hour)
Facebook
loading...

All of this has taught me that I may love computers and the Internet, but there's nothing like having a human to vent your frustrations to instead of a cold, heartless feedback box.

More From