The 10 Commandments Of Surviving A Maine Wintah!

If you can't survive a Maine wintah...you don't deserve a Maine summah. Ain't that the truth. One things for sure, we mainiacs deserve a good summer this year. After dealing with snowmegedon last year and our most recent 'bomb-cyclone'...we are due for an epic heat wave.

In the meantime...I've discovered how to survive a Maine wintah, once and for all!

Get a plow guy - it is worth the money! Save up all year long...but for the love of GOD...get a plow guy!

Get netflix...hulu...vudu...amazon...whatever. Next blizzard...your house for movie-pocolypse! And it's the perfect time to re-watch classics like: Perfect Strangers, ALF, Blossom or Friends

Dude, get a patriots beanie winter hat! Everyone is wearing one! It's the perfect accoutrement to any winter attire. Or, just wear it inside...that's cool too.

20 cases of ramen noodles. Because ya gotta eat and it's too cold to go out. Plus you're poor from the holidays and filling the fuel tank...oh yea...and paying the plow guy (but we need him!!)

Post 'The Official Countdown To Spring' on Facebook...EVERYDAY! This is crucial. You want people to know...you're ready!

Keep in line with #5, Post 'The Official It's Snowing Here" on Facebook. How are others going to know it's snowing...if you don't post it's snowing. This is a very important job and must never be forgotten.

Allen's Coffee Brandy (no explanation needed) - Because you need more than bread and water to survive a storm.

Embrace the winter...and p!ss, b!tch & moan every chance you got. Winter chaps your skin. Winter chaps your a$s. Winter is ugly..except when it's pretty...but then it's ugly again. Snot runs down your face like a leaky faucet. It's a magical wonderland.

Avoid any burning desire to go ice fishing. It makes no sense. The only time you should be on a lake...is when it's 80 degrees.

Find a 'winter only' activity. Like napping & eating.

MAINE HORSE GETS NEW PENIS

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