So, this could easily come back to bite me, both literally and figuratively.

On a whim, I signed up for the Old Town Riverfest 5K scheduled for early Saturday morning. Why did I do this? I really don't know. I saw that it was happening and thought, 'That sounds like fun.' No, bowling is fun. Ping-pong is fun. Waking up early on a Saturday morning to run over 3 miles is not usually my idea of ‘fun.’

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Full transparency: I used to run a lot in high school, but it's been many years since then. The last race I participated in was the Charles E. Davis Independence Run, a 7-mile race on the Fourth of July in 2015. The race went from Perry Corner to Downtown Eastport. That was a lot, but I was also 8 years younger and had trained for months.


Now, I'm no longer a young man.

I'm not only older and more out of shape, but I also have a receding hairline, worse cardiovascular health, and I drink a lot of alcohol. I also find myself making noises every time I stand up or sit down. Most importantly, I haven't run for several months, and even longer for distances greater than a mile — we're talking years.


At this point, just hours away from this race, I know it's not going to go well. So why not see just how poorly it can go? Let's turn it into a social experiment. 

Who knows, I might not even stretch beforehand.

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