Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan is happy that she's not going to jail, but she's still pissed that she has to go to rehab -- not just because she insists she doesn't have a problem, but also because she's going to be there on her birthday, July 2. She's so mad that she won't even pay her lawyers. Because someone else is doing that for her.

Habitual courtroom participant Lindsay Lohan finally took a plea deal that will send her to 90 days of lockdown rehab instead of the jail time she'd probably have gotten for lying to the police. There's just one problem: New York, where Lindsay is expected to spend her three months in rehab, has no such thing as lockdown facilities. Which means LiLo could be going to jail after all. (Not that it's

Cameras caught up with Lindsay Lohan's former attorney -- the competent one -- Shawn Holley, and she was pretty amused by the hot mess that was Lohan's trial with Mark Heller.

There are certain occasions in life where a simple black suit will suffice. A funeral. A job interview. A court appearance. But if you're Lindsay Lohan and you're headed before a judge for the bazillionth time, you don't keep it modest, prim or proper. You wear a white pantsuit comprised with possibly sheer fabric and a skirt over the pants part. Maybe?

A tired, pale and raspy Lindsay Lohan finally showed up in an L.A. court room today, March 18, about 45 minutes late to her trial for lying to the police in that car accident case from 2011. (As previously reported, she missed multiple flights before finally hopping a private jet to make it to the hearing.) The bottom line: She finally wised up and took a plea deal.

Judge Jim Dabney isn't the only person who wants Lindsay Lohan to drop Mark Heller. Her proud papa, Michael Lohan -- a lukewarm mess to her mom Dina's hot -- not only urged Lilo to get a new attorney (and even found one for her), but also claims to know what tricks Heller has up his sleeve. And as he's wont to do, Michael Lohan is running his mouth about it.

Dina Lohan showed up to a charity art auction event Tuesday night, March 12, because apparently no one told her that paintings aren't made of gin.

In case you thought for whatever reason that Lindsay Lohan was getting her ish together, brace yourself: she's not there yet. The starlet, whose current attorney Mark Heller is essentially a caricature of a bumbling goblin of a lawyer, still owes her fired superstar lawyer Shawn Holley -- who she dropped in favor of Heller -- a whole lot of dough.

Charlie Sheen is a Hollywood antihero, but he wants to be an actual hero for Lindsay Lohan, who he considers a friend -- a friend without any benefits at all.

Mark Heller may be a horrible attorney for Lindsay Lohan, but he's a glorious treasure trove of material for the rest of us.